Ain't I Just Despicable?
by Dr.Roxas4dawin
Summary: A Despicable Me parody crossover. Cast sheet of characters included inside. View it, the minions command you!
1. Chapter 1

Ain't I Just Despicable?

Recently, I've gotten into a kick of the Despicable Me film series. And since I saw several people making parody multi-crossover fanfics of several films, I thought I'd take a crack at it with the first film in the Despicable Me series, if only just for the fun of it. I hope you all enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Despicable Me or any characters from the other franchises referenced in this story. Despicable Me belongs to Universal Studios and Illumination Entertainment.

* * *

Chapter 1: Cast Sheet

Sheldon Cooper (from The Big Bang Theory) as Felonious Gru; a veteran villain who is hoping to pull off one of the biggest crimes of the century: with the help of three unwitting girls as his pawns.

Haymitch (from The Hunger Games) as Dr. Nefario; Gru's partner in crime and inventor of several pieces in Gru's arsenal.

Mandark (from Dexter's Laboratory) as Vector Perkins; Gru's villainous rival, who will do anything to outdo Gru in becoming the greatest villain of all time.

Karin Kurosaki (from Bleach) as Margo; the eldest of Gru's newly adopted daughters who will help give Gru a change of heart.

Sally Brown (from Peanuts) as Edith; the middle child of the three sisters who Gru adopts to thwart Vector.

Sweetie Belle (from Friendship is Magic) as Agnes; the youngest of the three siblings who Gru adopts. Her innocence is a constant beacon that helps Gru warm up to his new charges. To say she simply "likes" anything pertaining to unicorns would be a gross understatement.

Diane "Sandy Bigelow Patterson" (from Identity Thief) as Miss Hattie; the mean-spirited caretaker of Miss Hattie's Home for Orphans, which Margo, Edith, and Agnes sell cookies for.

Justin Hammer (from the Marvel Cinematic Universe; particularly Iron Man) as Mr. Perkins; the owner of the Bank of Evil; who is reluctant to fund Gru further because of the villain's spotty reputation as of late.

The Minions as themselves; Gru's countless henchmen who are overly willing to assist in whatever their master's plans pertain, even through the comical mischief that will ensue because of them. The most notable of the minions include Dave, Kevin, Stuart, and Phil.

Ethan Mars (from Heavy Rain) as Fred; Gru's neighbor.

Chet Ubetcha (from The Fairly Oddparents) as the MSNBC news anchor; the man who alerts the world of the Pyramid of Giza being stolen from Egypt.

* * *

Next chapter, I'll start the story up proper. If anyone would have any ideas on improving the ideas of who the "cast" of the fanfiction should be, feel free to mention it in a review. Don't forget, bananas... er, I mean reviews are not only appreciated, they're encouraged.


	2. Chapter 2

Ain't I Just Despicable?

Disclaimer: I do not own Despicable Me or any characters from the other franchises referenced in this story. Despicable Me belongs to Universal Studios and Illumination Entertainment.

* * *

Chapter 2: Panic at the Pyramids

"There's outrage in Egypt tonight, as it has been discovered that the Great Pyramid of Giza has somehow been stolen; and replaced with a giant inflatable replica!" a TV announcer exclaimed on the newscast. "Good evening from everyone at MSNBC; I'm Chet Ubetcha, and the report on today's events are as follows... as a group of tourists were visiting the Pyramid, the authorities have discovered the theft as a young boy by the name of Justin fell off a scaffolding located on-site before bouncing out of the replica and had been sent flying out of the rubber pyramid."

"My son Justin is very rambunctious, so he is usually kept on a child leash for safety." the boy's mother explained on a piece of interview footage. "While I was taking pictures of my husband at the site, he just slipped away, playing with his plane without me coming to notice; until it was too late, that is. While I'm glad he made it through this all alive, I wonder about why somebody would go through all the trouble to steal a famous landmark like this one."

"Why indeed, my fine madam!" Chet proclaimed. "Right as we speak, countries around the globe are banding together to protect their beloved landmarks, no matter the cost. Currently, there are no leads or suspects confirmed on FBI and CIA radars, much to the dischargin of citizens on a global scale. In closing, this is Chet Ubetcha saying: who is responsible for this heinous crime, and where in the world will he strike next?"

* * *

In another part of America, a young man wearing a black sweater and a striped scarf was walking through the streets with a cocky smirk on his face. He stopped for a moment as he had come to notice a little boy crying because his ice cream cone had spilled all over the sidewalk. Silently, the man seemed to sympathize with the boy's plight, motioning for the boy to watch as he pulled a balloon out of his pocket, and blew it up for the child, twisting it into the shape of a puppy dog. The boy's face lit up as he has handed the balloon, squeezing it joyfully. His ecstasy was short-lived as the balloon was abruptly popped by the man, who silently continued on his way.

_I'm having a bad, bad day_

_It's about time that I get my way_

_Steamrolling whatever I see_

_Ha, Despicable Me_

As the man entered a local coffee shop, he clearly was displeased by the long line right in front of him, as he rooted through his pockets, pulling out a freeze gun and cutting through by trapping the other customers in ice. With a gleeful streak, he picked up his coffee and doughnuts from the cashier at the counter, leaving money in the tip jar without another word.

_I'm having a bad, bad day_

_If you take it personal, that's okay_

_Watch, this is so fun to see_

_Uh, Despicable Me_

Riding home in a giant metal automobile, the man, who went by the name Sheldon Lee Cooper, arrived back at his house, exiting his vehicle before being interrupted from his train of thought by his neighbor Ethan Mars.

"Morning, Shelly!" Ethan said with a smile. "How are you doing?"

"Fine, Ethan. Although there's two things I hope you realize in the future: first, I prefer not to be called Shelly by anyone except my family, and I saw your dog has been leaving little 'bombs' all over my yard. It irritates me a little." Sheldon explained.

"Sorry, Sheldon. But you know how dogs are: they go wherever they want to." Ethan responded.

"That is, unless they're dead." Sheldon said with a grave level of seriousness in his voice, before both of the two laughed. "Bazinga! I'm joking; although there's some truth to it. Anyhow, I'll be seeing you some other time."

_I'm having a bad, bad day_

_It's about time that I get my way_

_Steamrolling whatever I see_

_Ha, Despicable Me_

_I'm having a bad, bad day_

_If you take it personal, that's okay_

_Watch, this is so fun to see_

_Uh, Despicable Me_

"Uh, okay." Ethan said with a nervous uncertain laugh as Sheldon went back inside his house. After closing the door behind him, Sheldon nudged away his mutated pet dog Kyle off his place on the couch, getting ready to eat his breakfast. He was then interrupted once more by the ringing of his front door bell.

"You have got to be puling on my leg!" Sheldon groaned, peeking through the eye hole, seeing three young girls sitting on his doorstep grasping a wagon filled with cookies.

"Cookies for sale!" the eldest of the three girls said.

"Go away; I'm not home!" Sheldon replied in frustration.

"Yes, you are. I just heard you." the girl rebuked.

"No, you didn't. This- is a recording." Sheldon lied, in hopes of driving them away. "Please leave a message. Beep." The middle child of the group then kicked the door, startling Sheldon, as the two walked away, leaving the youngest girl to bid goodbye to the 'recorded message' before joining the other girls.

* * *

Next chapter, I'll go into introducing the Minions and Sheldon's evil plan for the world.


End file.
